Member-only story
10 Day Meditation Retreat. No phone. No talking.
From 1 January — 12 January 2019, I spent time in the Blue Mountains to observe my mind, its patterns and consciousness as a whole. It was most likely one of the most difficult life experiences.
In brief, it was a mental operation to slice up your mind from your own patterns and understand why there is so much misery and suffering in this everyday society. We are constantly so busy trying to create and craft a life to suit the externalities of the world to the point it has heavily consumed us, we rarely look inside introspectively.
It was pretty tough and a constant upstream battle of ups and downs. On Day 1 and 2, I was suffering from having to sit over one hour in a seated position. Day 4, I thought of quitting. Day 6 I was content. Day 9 was also most difficult and Day 10 was overwhelming as we acclimatised back to society.
This is a digest of my key learning lessons from the experience.
These views are my own thoughts and experiences and is not an attempt to convert you or do anything weird.
Background — Why Meditation?
Throughout high school, I went through some anxiety and mild depression. There were constant streams of ‘Why am I not happy?” and “What is happiness?”. Soon enough, I was able to get out of this cycle and carried on with my life.
After high school, I went to go study psychology as a pathway to understand how we can ‘cure’ and alleviate mental wellbeing and health. Some things didn’t seem to click and I moved to more acceptable and greedy part of life called Business/Commerce/Making $$$. Throughout that time, I would come across into meditation as a form of mental health exercises. Popularised apps such as Headspace and SmilingMind helped with the occasional mediation exercises in the morning to calm one’s mind and go about my daily life with some subtle benefits.
What is ego?
In conversation, we would say someone has a large ‘ego’ if they are loud and self-centered. It is characterised around their identity and one’s self-importance in this crazy world. Yet everyone has an ego and an attachment towards ‘self’
- I tie my ego to my degree.
